Our next email will give an easy way to disarm the fear-shame dynamic. (If you don't want to wait, pick up a copy of How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It: Finding Love beyond Words .) But first, we want to send companion questions to men. If you are a woman receiving this, pass it on to a man.

Question One: When your wife or girlfriend says, "We need to talk," how do you typically respond?

Question Two: When you're driving and you wife startles at something she thinks she sees on the road, how do you respond?

Question Three: After you talk or try to talk about your finances, does it seem that wife shops more?

Question Four: Do you get irritated when your wife seems nervous about the way you handle the kids?

Question Five: Have you ever complained to your wife that it's hard for you to feel close to her if you don't have sex only to have her counter by saying that she can't have sex with you unless she feels close?

Sincerely,