If you are one of the millions of people who walk on eggshells in their homes, you spend much of your time trying to avoid criticism, resentment, anger, put-downs, cold shoulders, verbal abuse or emotional abuse from your intimate partner. You have so often self-edited and second-guessed yourself over matters large and small that you have lost a sense of who you are. The pain of walking on eggshells can persist for years and have devastating effects on you and your children and greatly impair your ability to live happily in marriage. Resentment will eventually lead to verbal abuse first, then to emotional abuse, then possibly to violence. An anger management class or anger control course will not increase the compassion you need and therefore fails to help if you live with resentment, anger, verbal abuse, or emotional abuse.   

To begin recovery, you must reclaim your unique core value, which is determined solely by you, not by how you are treated. Reclaiming your core value leads to compassion for yourself, which increases your motivation to heal, improve, and create more value in your life.

Increasing your core value leads to greater awareness of the fact that people like themselves more when they are compassionate to the people they love and hate themselves when they are mean to the people they love. Because you care about your partner, you can no longer accept the resentful, angry, or emotionally abusive behavior that makes him hate himself. You must compassionately insist that he stop immediately.

Help is available in Boot Camps and in the book:

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